June 27, 2022

You wake up, however this isn’t the world you remember. You travel to far off places that can only be found within our imaginations. You do things that only dreams are capable of accomplishing, you are dream-walking. 

Rarely do you understand what you are doing when you are a child. Your imagination already runs while, you day dream often and you imagine how you will be in the future. What better way than to dream about it?

When I realize what I was doing I was just a small boy around 11-12. I cam to this realization because of a tragedy that happened to me, something that no child should ever have to fathom. I witnessed my mother try to kill herself, I was the one that found her and I called my step dad. I did not know what to do when I found her. Ever since that time when I was just a small boy I have strived to experience the most out of life. My y mother did not die that day, she was given another chance to live. However, I wasted that chance and turned my back on her. I thought that she had abandoned me, I was angry at her for all the wrong reasons. A small boy who is just a child, does not realize what suffering truly is until they feel they have lost a parent. It wasn’t shortly after that when I found out that the man I had called dad my whole life was not my real father, it seemed liked traumatic even after traumatic even.Looking back on my life 25 years later I can realize that life is suffering, that we sometimes experience trauma and it teaches us something. For me, it taught me that life was a precious gift. That no matter how hard life gets we can never give up, we have to keep going for as long as we can.

That is what others did before us, they paved a path for us to live in perfect harmony. When the United States was formed it was founded on the blood of mankind. Soldiers fight and die in war, but rarely do we think about all the women, children, and elderly that also suffer in the cross hairs of warfare. War is fought in cities, in neighborhoods and amongst the citizens of those places. When I was 20 I joined the United States Marine Corps and decided that I had to make something out of myself, in order to give my children something I never had, a real father to be proud of. I did not have a father, but I could be a father.The Marine Corps gave me new dreams, many of which have become never ending nightmares. Now that I am half way through my thirties I have realized that I have wasted a lot of energy on thinking things could be better, rather than making things better. Like in my dreams, where I am far better off than reality. We must live in reality to see our dreams and it takes hard work and daily practice, you have to create patterns to follow. When we dream we walk into our future, because what we think we eventually become.