June 27, 2022

Pain is a temporary decision to accept weakness as a choice.

At that decision you often give up your ability to make the choice for yourself, pain has taken control. Pain is pain, and often at times it is never the same. It takes on many different forms, a depression from a past experience. Or maybe a distant memory, something tragic that happened to you in the past.
For me the PTS Discussion is me discussion trauma as I have seen it, and my perspective of the sadness caused by the tragedy. Witnessing things, causing things, and hearing about things are all different things.

So what is Combat-PTSD? Well that is a good question, and one I probably do not have the answer too. I have to many questions, what I remember and why it bothers me still. Is that what PTS is? a lingering memory from a past experience, something that happened to you once a long time ago that still dwells in your mind and keeps you up during those midnight hours?

That is the way it has been for me, the thoughts that I have now can not be much different then the thoughts I had back when the experience was happening, is what I am remembering a memory from those events or are they because of mefloquine toxicity. This is also a question I have argued for a decade now. To me post trauma is sad and why I discuss it, it is how I figure it out. I just talk it out, until people around me convince me that I am not crazy and do not have a disorder.

That society itself has a disorder, in how it labels people who have challenges as people with “disorders”. What makes something a disorder is the impact it has on your life. How much you let it control you.